Fear is responsible for nearly everything you DON’T do in life. So, if you are unhappy with things that you aren’t doing in life, then you probably need to tackle fear. But before we dive into how the heck you can overcome this beast of an emotion, let’s talk about what it is, because it’s not all bad.
So what really is fear and what’s its purpose? Fear is just an unpleasant emotion caused by a belief. Fear is the belief that someone or something is dangerous and there is a high probability that we come into harm or hurt. There is a time and a place for fear. There is a need for us and our brains to understand and be fearful when we think that we are in danger because that's our bodies warning sign to us that we need to fight, flight or flee out of the situation to protect ourselves. Fear serves us in ONLY genuinely dangerous situations. That’s the only time. But more times than not, what we actually fear is not actually that it’s dangerous, it’s just the belief that it is.
The Problem With Fear
It seems that at the root of any fear is an endless list of what-ifs. I did for years...What if I'm not cut out for entrepreneurship? What if I make a fool out of myself? What if I go bankrupt? What if I ruin my life? What if I fail? Each “what if” just serves as an excuse or a reason not to move forward with something. There will always be a million “reasons” not to do something.
Here’s the thing though, almost all of the fear we experience is an illusion. It’s something we make up in our mind. The consequences of fears are mostly in our head.
Fear limits you and your vision. It serves as blinders to what may be just a few steps down the road for you. It’s form of procrastination and laziness. When you let fear rule your life, you’re letting it make the decision for you to stay put and not move forward into what you truly desire in life.
There are 6 popular fears (courtesy of Tony Robbins, Brendon Burchard, and other lightworkers) that creep into our life, rule our decisions, and keep us paralyzed in the pursuit of our dreams, vision, and desires. Here they are:
1. Fear of loss.
This can be physical things or it can be losses of emotions, or really anything imaginable: this includes abandonment, confidence, separation, loss of love, respect, material things, etc.
2. Fear of less.
This can be fearing things like less money, less love, fewer material goods, less space, less happiness, etc. It’s not quite losing the thing but definitely having less of it.
3. Fear of never.
This can be the fear of never getting to go to Italy, or never having the grades needed to get into medical school, or never losing weight, or never finding your soulmate.
4. Fear of hardship, challenge, or conflicts.
A lot of anxiety comes from feeling like we aren’t strong or capable enough to handle a difficult situation. And that when faced with adversity, we will cower instead of standing our ground and finding the way out or through.
5. Fear of change.
When things change, more times than not it falls outside of our comfort zone, so it’s rightfully so that we may experience some resistance or fear the change. It’s no doubt that there's going to be a learning curve and the one thing that we can count on in this world is that change is inevitable.
5. Fear of disappointment.
It’s normal for us to feel sad or experience negative feelings if things don’t turn out well. We keep thinking everything is the end all be all when that’s just not the case.
6. Fear of the wrong or a worse outcome.
This can be something like fearing the grass isn't greener on the other side after we’ve taken action.
7. Fear of success.
While it might not quite sound like that’s a real thing, it totally is. Sometimes we just deeply and truly fear what will happen when we succeed and actually get what we want in life.
Here’s the bad news, fear is inescapable. But here’s the good news: when you take the time to shift your mindset ever so slightly, take the following steps, and actually move forward and take action, fear will only take up about 60 seconds of your life each time.
What You Can Do To Overcome Fear
Fear of loss or the fear of less: Start focusing on the things that you're going to gain instead of the things that you might lose.
Fear of never: Start actually asking yourself and doing the work to figure out if never is actually the concrete answer or if your limiting beliefs are telling you that. If it isn’t actually a never, then take action! If it is a permanent never, then think about how you can pivot that dream or desire into something similar.
Fear of adversity: Often, we’ve been through a lot worse and survived. And now we can use that fear to take a step back, take a breath, and better prepare for this new upcoming challenge. We can turn fear into a strength.
Fear of change: With new changes come new opportunities. And with new changes come challenges that will make us grow as people.
Fear of disappointment: It’s time to focus on the journey rather than the destination. Just focus on bringing your best to the situation at hand, and remember that everything will turn out well as long as you’re open to learning and asking for help along the way.
Fear of success: Fear is not an excuse. Too often we let fear dictate our lives and allow and hold us back we allow it to hold us back from what we want most out of this life.
Here are some other thoughts on fear:
Once we understand that fear keeps us in a dark place and blocks positive energy from coming into our life and stops us from living our truth then that is the first step to overcoming fear. We must first understand what it does to our life and then we might understand what it is that we are fearing.
What’s the worst that can happen? One of the best things you can do when you are fearful of doing something or you feel like fear is holding you back is to ask yourself what's the worst thing that can happen? More times than not the worst thing that could happen from you taking a massive action towards your dreams is that. Fear is usually just a contemplative process. Learn to look at the Silver Linings and all of the amazing things that are going to come from what you're doing.
Make friends with fear. Nothing is good or bad, it just is. In order to fully grow, to fully evolve and to fully understand our journey, we must welcome it all. We must quit being so fearful and just allow things to be.
Allow yourself to go through it ALL. Don’t make fear + pain your home.
Surrender yourself to the universe. Allow yourself to feel what is but don’t let it block you and move on.
Then and only then can we put an action plan into place and create a lifestyle that helps you bust through that fear.
Everything worth having will have some sort of unpleasant emotion with it but what we really need to develop is courage is what we want instead of fear. Courage doesn’t exist without fear.
Transforming fear into freedom - how great would that be? Flippin incredible! And guess what? You can totally do it.
Fear is a natural and normal part of the human experience. embrace it, acknowledge it, understand it but DON’T let it hold you back. Move past fear and into courage.
With the right mindset, tools, some discipline, and a little practice, you can kick fear to the curb and actually move forward with your vision and desires in this amazing life!
All will be well as long as you stay in motion toward your dreams.